The History of Chase's cancer
March 13, 2003
Kim and Dan want to thank all of you for your prayers and concerns.
Currently, chase has stage 3 Rhabdomyosarcoma
Tomorrow two specialists will do a bone marrow test, check his lymph nodes, and insert a port a cath in his chest for chemo treatments. They will be removing ear cartilage, the paraded gland, and facial tissue if necessary to remove all the remaining cancer. If all goes as planned, Chase will then have stage 1 cancer.
The surgery will take place at St. Mary's hospital in Rochester, Mininesota. Days after this surgery Chase will start his chemo treatments and hopefully be home in a couple of weeks.
Kim and Dan have asked for all your prayers, especially tonight as this is a very crucial surgery and that you write to Chase at the following address prior to March 23rd.
Thank you,
Kathryn Holden
March 16, 2003
To all our friends, family, church members and teachers:
After 8 1/2 hours of surgery on Friday, the team of surgeons were able to remove the cancer and the adjoining tissues at risk.
This included several lymph nodes, which were found to be cancer free. We are still awaiting the results to determine whether the cancer is in the bone marrow. Because of the extensive nature of this surgery, the chemotherapy cannot begin until more healing has occurred. We anticipate the onset of chemotherapy to begin within 14 days.
We are all very relieved at the prognosis. At the present time Chase's disposition is solemn. The greatest light we have seen from him has been in repsonse to all your cards, packages, balloons and prayers.
Again, our deepest gratitude to all of you.
Love,
Kim, Dan and Chase
From the Mayo Clinic
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March 23, 2003
To our friends, family and community supporters:
We are very blessed for all your calls, visits, thoughts and prayers. I hope you will accept a general thank you, too, for the gifts, books, tapes, food, candy and money, balloons and cards that have honestly overwhelmed our entire family. Thank you, thank you so much.
On Friday, March 21, we met with Dr. Torno, the pediatric oncologist for CHOC. She ordered blood work and another CAT scan to check an area in the upper lung, which has some inflamation. We believe that area of cancer is due to a cold he had rather then more cancer. In addition, Chase had the 35 external stiches removed. They will fit him with an ear mold so that during chemotherapy, the ear canal will not collapse. This partial deformity will be addressed post chemo-treatment. Chemotherapy begins Monday, March 24, 2003.
At the moment, we are facing life day by day. Admittedly, we have gone from the euphoria on March 14 finding out
April 2, 2003
Dear friends, family and our supportive community:
As of April 2, 2003, we felt tonight it imperative to share the events of the day. Chase had his second chemotherapy treatment yesterday. Last week, after the first chemo, Chase was sick for a couple days and recuperated fairly well. Today, Chase asked to go fishing at the lake. We were astonished at his demeanor and decided "green light go!" I rented a boat and he fished solo and caught several bass! We hit euphoria today-our boy is going to kick this cancer!
At 8:00p.m, we got the call from Dr. Torno, our pediatric oncologist from C.H.O.C. I knew it was bad. The central research pathologist identified Chase's Rhabdomyosarcoma to have at least 10% alveolar composition. It is a mixed type of cancer which means treatment has been dramatically changed to include cytoxin as well as radiation;
We will meet with the oncology team next Tuesday. Chase will be hospitalized every 4th week at C.H.O.C. for a minimum sta
April 8, 2003
Dear loved ones:
Chase finally came up with his "Make a Wish"! Chase wants a boat. We ask the nurse who informs us that there are no wish gifts that are granted that may inflict injury. I received a call from Dan on Thursday. "Hey, ma; this is Captain Chase and Deckhand Dan. We're down at Dana Point Harbor and we're looking for a boat to buy." My response was not really what they expected; maybe it was the stress over what we're going through. I, very strongly, state I was 190% opposed to the idea. Then I hung up. I called back and quickly stated I wouldn't be the bad guy and I would indulge my "sea crew" and check out the vessel. Within seven mere minutes or so, after surveying the scene and noting so clearly the exuberance on Chase's face, I exclaimed, "I love it. Buy it". So how about our name. "Chasin' Dreams".
On Chase's visit today, April 8, 2003, with Dr. Torno; here is an update. In anticipation of our appointment, we were all emotional (Dad, Mom, and Grandma Su
April 12, 2003
It's 6:20 Saturday night, and we are all exhilarated from our gift from God. We took "Chasin' Dreams" out for our maiden voyage, and lo' and behold we ran into a whale. He has been with us from 20 feet afar, wishing Chase wellness and a life ahead.
Signing off from the Quickels with hope in our hearts
April 12 - April 15, 2003
To our supporters
-Saturday, April 12th - After the magical trip on "Chasin' Dreams", we got home and Chase showed me his cap. I wasn't quite tracking right. What was in it? "Mom, it's my hair." Needless to say, Chase lost his hair. "Oh" the highs and lows.
Tuesday, April 15th update - We dischaarged from C.H.O.C. this afternoon. Being admitted to pediatric oncology, on a floor with only cancer patients was extremely moving; all different ages and degrees of severity. We got a tour of the unit and were quite impressed. The "hope room" was especially moving as Chase's eyes widened at the sight of a computer, my focus was on the dedication of the room by a deceased cancer child.
The chemotherapy began mid-afternoon. Chase immediately responded with dizziness, then nausea and diarrhea. The Atavan caused him to hallucinate and become delusional. He had restless sleep and several bouts of incontinence. Early morning, more vomitting but be assured we are here for t
April 20, 2003
HAPPY EASTER! HAPPY PASSOVER!
We are clearly celebrating the change of the wind from earlier this week. Chase really had a tough reaction to adding cytoxin to the chemotherapy. We are now preparing as per M.D. instructions that this is what we are in store for every 3 weeks during hospitalization and the days following. We will be limiting our phone accessibility, but e-mail via Kathryn will keep all-up to date.
The greatest gifts unfold as we acknowledge each step in the process. It brings us a positive side as well as a negative one (in either order). Miraculously, yesterday Chase went to the Fender Museum, then fishing with Michael and Andy aboard "Chasin' Dreams!!"
I take a deep breath to mentally prepare and enjoy this reprieve before the next storm. As for now, clear skies ahead.
With faith, love, and hope,
The Quickels
April 22, 2003
We've received several calls in regards to blood donors. We thank you in advance for such a wonderful gesture. Chase's blood type is A-positive. The blood and donor unit is located at 455 S. Main Street in Orange. The Hours are Mon., Tues. Wed., Fri. 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. and Thurs. 7:30 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. The blood and donor unit number is (714) 532-8339.
Chase received chemo today. He is extremely weak and the MD has advised us that in anticipation of low counts by Thursday, he may need to begin transfusions. He is also experiencing bone weakness and pain. We are requesting no visits or calls during this time. However, your thoughts and prayers are always welcome. We will keep you posted.
Thanks for being there!
Love,
The Quickels
May 7, 2002
We returned from CHOC inpatient late this afternoon. Chase is weak, dizzy and has vomited several times. I have to say, with the added anti-emetics through the IV, he is better, overall, than last visit.
We stopped on our way home to get another reel and pole. His hopes are to be on the water tomorrow. I love his optimism!
Since the last e-mail, Chase has successfully caught several trout, bass, bluegill, sunfish, and catfish. He says that fishing gets his mind off his cancer. Thank goodness for his love of the sport!
In addition, Chase was confirmed last Sunday and we thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers. This Sunday, on Mother's Day, I am especially grateful for the honor of having my four boys. They are my lifestring. Happy Mother's Day to all of you and yours and may it be a day to celebrate the bond, the love, the life we share with our children.
As always, make every minute count... With Love,
The Quickels
May 12, 2003
It's late tonight, the house is quiet. The boys, Dan and even Hershey are all settled snuggly in for the night. I am left alone for a bit to reflect on my own thoughts. As my eyes fill with tears of gratitude, I wish to personally thank all of you for every gesture, act of kindness, special prayers and/or cards of support... There seems to be no limits on the love from those in our community, some of which we don't even personally know.
I feel that since March 11, my life is a blur. When I can laugh, it is uncontrollable, and when I cry the same is true. On Mothers Day, I looked around at my family and friends and said to myself, "what a wonderful day!" Chase ate 'til his heart's content. He smiled and impatiently waited for Dan to say "green light go" on "Chasin' Dreams".
I am starting to know the pattern of treatment. Week 3 is always tough. During this recuperation period Chase looks forward to the days he can fish, paint, and play his guitar.
Again, whole
May 2003
To all our people:
Chase has celebrated for several days. He is definitely "livin' life". By the way, that term is his own coined sentiment about today. Chase's counts were down but the MD let him go to an Angel game with his former coaches and team, he attended a glorious BarMitzvah and went on an overnight Charter boat to San Clemente Island where he proceeded to catch the most fish aboard! T.G.F.F. (Thank God for fishing)
I, too, have been moved by his participation in life. I attended a birthday party for a cancer survivor whose son is brain injured, visited for hours with Chase's old babysitter (Lorena) and her family, and attended a luncheon for pediatric cancer. When the two mothers who both had lost their children one year ago told their stories at the benefit, I swore to myself that I would not be one of them.
It has been said that if Chase weren't to make it, I will survive. I refuse to think a lot about that option. Today I realized his long
End of May, 2003
Upon admission, Chase had to be wheelchaired to the Oncology unit. This was a first for him. After such a busy weekend, he is completely void of energy. He's grouchy and doesn't speak a word. His hemoglobin is 8.2 rather than 16 so we'll begin transfusions. When the blood is delivered, he asks if it will hurt going in. After the third questioning he finally accepts the nurse's "no" response. I take a deep sigh. Chase asks to be spared viewing the blood. It is too scary for him. The nurse assures him, he will feel better. I tell her how grateful I am for our secret donor. She tells me CHOC is currently in a blood crisis. All leftovers will be donated to others in need. I am starting to see how vastly Chase has affected others.
The silliest things that make you cry.... We were watching "Home Improvement" and the shows focus in on the son's recently discovered suspicious throat abnormality. I can feel myself tremble. At the end, the child's doctor calls and it's not cancer. I r
June 11, 2003
To our lifeline supporters,
We've had quite a success with Chase's fishing excursions. Friday, 6/6/03, Dan surprised Chase and they went out on a charter boat in San Diego. Dan proudly called to inform us that not only had Chase caught the first fish, he had landed a 25-pound yellowtail tuna. Needless to say, Sunday was a day of indulgence-fish taco's for all!
On a more serious note, we were called last night to go to ER for blood transfusions. We were admitted to the pediatric oncology floor and got the last bed. The unit was packed and the discomfort from the patients was painfully obvious.
The mother of our roommate gently peered through the curtain to say hello. Within minutes, we found out that our sons shared the same cancer: RHABDOMYOSARCOMA. We spoke throughout the night. Her son, Jeffrey is 3 weeks from the end of treatment. I had a million questions, many of which, now looking back, I wish had different answers. As we face radiation beginning next w
June 16, 2003
The day started out emotional. I retrieved our Register to discover the article about Dan, Chase and our family. The color photo of Chase sent me to my knees. The tears I try to save for private times..fell without hesitation. I thought the article was a perfect tribute to Dan's contribution to the family.
The traffic was lighter this morning enroute to CHOC. I was grateful as we have a lot of appointments scheduled today. Blood was drawn, and then the CAT scan and now I sit watching from afar, as Chase silently sits on that cold metal bed for the MRI. He doesn't move and has trained himself to follow protocol precisely. He is truly amazing!
I leave briefly to pick up the prior MRI's so a comparison can be made. As I walk to the radiology clinic, I hear a beautiful sound; I look below to the lower level and there sits an older woman playing the harp. The music is soothing and it moves me to sit down, and take a deep breath. My PMS is in full swing and there come t
June 22, 2003
What if one day, when we are each faced with the end of our lives; we were asked to pick one life event, which has taught us the most. Today would be mine-the idea that Chase's diagnosis of alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma just three months ago would follow with such an immediate response from so many supporters stands out as a clear indication of the goodness in people.
I've thought long and hard about how to communicate effectively to each of you just how much our family has been deeply touched by your support. There have been so many random acts of kindness; it is, frankly, overwhelming.
Chase Donovan Crawford-Quickel was born on December 20, 1989. He was suppose to join us on Christmas day but decided not to share his birthday. Chase came to this world calm and kind. He has approached his plight with cancer with the same demeanor. He wishes to say to all of you his thank you's and prefers to stay out of the limelight.
Chase became a baseball player early o
June 23, 2003
To our team, "Livin Life Chasin' Dreams" (renamed as per Chase's request)
God knows when your plate runneth over! Sunday was truly a gift from above. June 22, 2003 our family was astoundingly greeted with a race for Chase's life. Because of YOU we will meet this challenge with hope and inspiration.
This event was life altering. With gratitude for all the following we, as the family of Chase Crawford-Quickel honor and thank you for:
The ride for Chase in that wonderful car, the balloons, the set-up-so planned and organized, the food and drinks, the hugs, the verbal support, the awesome music, the organization, the workerbees (you volunteers rock!), the donations, the race itself, the enthusiasm, the medals, the raffle tickets, the website, the blood donation, the silent auction workers and donations, Chase's personal gift, the cooks and snack bar person, RNLL, City of Laguna Niguel, the multitude of sponsors, the listeners, the silent providers, the attention to detail, t
July 14, 2003
To our "team" supporters:
The "Race for Chase" is still feeding our family with unconditional, overwhelming love and support. Again, thank you all for your support in so many ways.
Since that day, there have been so many "events." From my Minnesota relatives surprising us for the "race," to the Harley biker's charity fundraiser for pediatric oncology, to the volunteers like "Stan" from C.H.O.C., Gary James for the extra special care, and Benny Bendickson for the fantastic fishing trip, and efforts from everyone else with their wonderful contributions, we applaud you enormously.
Here's an overview- I cannot promise it will-be brief, but I will try to keep this to a summary of recent events:
6/25/03: Chase and I went to Petco to evaluate whether purchasing an aquarium was warranted. Chase wants a catfish (his secret code name by Dan). The "expert" tells us that aquariums breed infections and warns us against it. I told Chase, "no" as he proceeded to
July 16, 2003
A DAY TO CELEBRATE
The month of radiation ended TODAY. To kick off the celebration, Chase is taking a train to San Diego to be guests of our cousins, Debbie and Scott Duesler-Thompson. Chase will be fishing down south on a 50-foot boat. He'll return Thursday. If blood counts are good, he'll depart Dana Point for Catalina with Dan and George and Cameron DeYoung. They plan on returning 3 days later with a multitude of fish and some great fish stories (we hope!).
Two more tidbits...
Last week, Special Forces Marine, Bob Monticup, took Michael Nadel, Andy Margolis and Chase on an extraordinary day at Camp Pendleton. They toured private areas, met top officials, practiced with the flying simulator, etc! For hours these boys joined the ranks and had the time of their lives! They even came home with hats/posters, stickers/medals and other memorabilia. Next time, Bob promises to take a ladies group-any takers? I won't be missing that excursion. Thank you, Bob!
The Ph
July 30, 2003
To our supporters:
I anticipated this treatment like no other; to discover whether "EMEND" was indeed the "AMEN" answers to Chase's treatment. Chase asked on the way to CHOC why he just couldn't get chemotherapy at home. He said, "Mom, I hate this hospital!" I told him one day, long after his treatment, chemo may happen at home. He suddenly changed tracks and regretted he had left 2 poles at home with broken tips (which he had hoped to drop off for repair). Being half way there, I weighed the pros/cons and made a U-turn. We dropped off the poles and set sail for inpatient treatment. In the scheme of life, let's stop and prioritize. To Chase, this was imperative.
Last week, my cousins Debbie and Scott Duesler-Johnson bravely set their sights on kid/house/dog sitting. Dan met his best friend Dimitris, in Las Vegas while I left with on of my closest friends to San Diego for a conference. Dan and I rendezvoused in Las Vegas and took a much-needed 24-hour reprieve. Debbie an
July 30 continued
Back to the emotional level. Those of you who have teenagers will relate- it
has been several months, with sparingly a lapse here or there, that Chase has let me in. I can sneak a smile here or there, but overall, as a 13-year-old diagnosed with cancer, he has been resentful and challenging to deal with. Again, I have practiced taking a deep breath and letting go.
Tonight, Chase grabbed my hand and asked me to hold him. I was so overwhelmed it took my breath away. I held him with both hands and for the first time in a very long time, he took off his old, heavy hat and let me massage his bald head. Then, the unheard came, "mom, will you get in bed with me?" I really felt my legs weaken, I tried to act casual and stifle my ultimate excitement as I gingerly got onto that slim hospital bed. Then, the ultimate gift, "mom" I want to feel your warmth - will you cuddle me?" God, I've waited my life, it feels for him to say that. As I cuddled him, he dozes off. He doesn't know t
August 17, 2003
To our team:
We are about to finish our family vacation in Balboa. We have indulged our children in lots of fun at the "fun zone", pizza galore, bicycle rentals, movies, visiting friends and, of course a ton of fishing.
Chase begged me last night to accompany the family on our boat,"Livin' life-Chasin' -Dreams" for a day fishing. Hesitantly, I agreed upon conditions #1: 1 could retire early (i.e. within 4 hours), #2 everyone accepts due to my back sensitivity, no racing in the choppy ocean, #3 Let's catch fish!
Cody caught the first fish-a large mackerel. Chase followed with a halibut. Then we hit a dead zone. We headed for the jetty-the crashing; waves at the Balboa Peninsula at "the wedge." We threw our lines. Chase taught me well. I caught 3 large mackerel in a row (which I proceeded to scream exuberantly upon each one caught). Our battery died so we fished more while a waiting vessel assist and lifeguard rescue. It only added to our adrenal rush. Our boat
August 18, 2003
Regards to all,
I didn't sleep well last night. I had weird dreams; i.e. Chase had a high fever and no matter what I did, the fever wouldn't break. Next someone stole my necklace and no one would help, and the last one; Dan forgot to set the alarm and Chase missed his helicopter ride. I guess somewhere deep inside; I must be feeling out of control-not a very comfortable place to be.
Having said that, let me get on to our miraculous day. Another angel, I suspect Sharon Horn and Dr. Abidi, may have given Chase a wonderful gift. We arrived at UNTLAB early this morning (7:38 am). The line was already long and I feared the wait. We are, as usual, the only ones in line to get blood tests for a teenager. Most people are older and I feel for Chase. Around 8 am, one of the technicians arrived to open the doors and grabbed Chase's hand- "follow me," he said. I'm not one for taking cuts, but today Chase has a special day and we are hurried. I lean on the rail while Chase gets his
August 26, 2003
Tonight Chase, Cody, Cory and I went for the Renegade 1-year reunion. As we drove to our hosts' home, the Lees; we saw the team playing baseball in the cul de sac. The boys looked so much older and more mature. Chase reminded me that we would stay 1 hour and not more. I told the boys to get out of the car and I sighed in anticipation. Corey and Cody seemed to hover around Chase as protection.
As Chase got out of the car, he glanced at me with a grimace. Zach hit a fly and ran around the bases. Oh to be a boy without cancer! I walked inside and met our wonderful team parents and families. They are the best! so loving and caring. Soon, the team boys came in to swim, to play, and to eat. Chase, Cody and Corey stayed in the garage and played Ping-Pong by themselves. I felt selfish tonight. Although I kept an upbeat disposition, it made my heart cry to see how healthy the boys had grown in the last year. Chase, on the other hand, has regressed. He is wearing tiny clothes, his voi
August 27, 2003
Today was the first day of school for the majority of kids. Today, Chase was admitted to CHOC for blood transfusions and platelets. He was exceptionally unhappy and his dispositSon depressed me greatly. We entered room 324, Bed 1 at 12:00 p.m. We shared a room with a bald teenager who lay mute and unidentified. We have learned to appreciate silence....
Our nurse Lillie has been a charge nurse on the floor for 13 years. She has seen it all and was very attentive and professional to Chase. Once I got beyond her "wall", I found her to be our #1 in care. She took Chase's vomit upon admission and made light of it. She made him take his pain medication without hesitation. She told us they call her "Queen Bitch". I call her "Queen" period.
Chase slept during blood transfusions and platelets. The floor is packed, no available beds or chairs. I sit on a hard chair for 5 hours trying to stay busy with paperwork. At the 6th hour, I slip into Chase's hospital bed to rest befo
August 28, 2003
To our supporters,
Sorry for all the e mails this week but a lot has happened and these e-mails are my "purging". I can vent unconditionally and I wish for all of you, that you may, in the state of trauma, have that "outlet".
After doing hospitalizatlon yesterday, with transfusions and platelets, I figured we were due for a non-laborious Labor Day weekend. Dan informed me at 5:00 PM that he wanted to "seize the moment" and take Chase to Catalina tonight for the long weekend. I called to get his blood counts after labs were taken this morning. Upon getting the results on my cell after work (7:15 p.m.) the bad news was Chase's blood count is the lowest it's ever been. He needs MORE platelets and blood transfusions ASAP. I immediately called Dan who was en route to Catalina with Chase. Dan argues, "can't we just go, call the doctor and plead..." I agree to call the M.D. after hours but know it's not a good prognosis. After being paged, Dr. Torno explains the risks an
September 8, 2003
"Practice Random Acts of Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty"
Ten years ago, when Kyle (my oldest) was in third -grade'! I volunteered in the classroom for a different purpose. I had decided, after reading "Chicken soup for the Sour (part 1), that I would vote myself in as an ambassador for the basic principles provided in the book. These "lessons in life" became my "montra" and I wanted to share the word; to spread real life experiences to our youth exemplifying the major belief, that most people are good. In my private practice, I have come to observe many people who have been met by betrayal, abandonment and sometimes, abuse. This has hampered their innate ability to believe in the goodness of people. Therefore, I targeted a young audience and up until 2002, my mission was served. Many of you, who's children were in these classes, might want to ask them about their favorite story-1 can guarantee you they will have something meaningful to tell you, so listen attentively.
September 8 continued
This was the first time I forgot to bring the office a treat and I was mortified. We were appalled to get notified an hour later that Chase's blood counts were too low to get chemo (i.e. 9 white blocd cells) and we were to go home. With bags packed, mentally ready to do the deal, we returned home. I felt more depressed than I've been in a long time. My visiting mother in law from Tallahassee tried to be a cheerleader and raise my spirits. I had 3 hours of phone calls to rearrange work and MD appointments. I feel exhausted and know the harder week is yet to come.
Chase is in for a tough 4 1/2 months. His disposition is poor. He is highly sensitive and appears more and more effected by the chemotherapy-mentally and physically. I fear that the good times are behind us. That is in no way an invitation for a pity party. We will FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT! I am facing my worst year, that one day soon; Chase won't want to fish. God let us ride this a bit longer please. Thanks to all of
September 17, 2003
The Chase update: "Livin'D Life,"
Hello friends and family,
With the disappointemtn from last week, that chemo had been postponed (pushing our end date one week further) we met those lows then the highs.
Chase's recent MRI and CAT scan show no metastis of the cancer cells. Thank you, God! Miracles being as they are, how about this one....Chase and Blake went out Sunday (9/14/03) on Dana Pride. Chase caught the biggest fish; a halibut; he won the jackpot, $200.00! On Monday (9/15/03) thanks to Ken Clark of Young Life who sponsored Chase; Chase fished all day and most were skunked, Chase wasn't; he caught a nice calico bass and a sculpin. He also won a Shimano pole at the raffle.
Fast forward to today; hard chemotherapy inpatient. It's 10:05 p.m.; Chase amazingly SLEPT through chemo. We're talking, sharing fish stories and planning my first time joining him on a charter. His enthusiasm is getting me psyched up. We watched a fishing video twice toda
September 28, 2003
Hi to everyone
There have been so many meaningful experiences, some small, some large and I thought I'd share a few. As you recall, Chase had last week and next week off from chemo. I woke up Monday to go for a jog with Hershey and ran into a woman who had her dog, too. I yelled that Hershey was friendly and we agreed to let them "sniff." My eyes followed the dogs at play and then to her tee shirt She had the "Race for Chase" on. I quickly exclaimed that Chase was my son. She was deeply moved and shared how she had come to be involved due to the Braves baseball team who, in lieu of their coach's gifts had donated their money to Chase. Of course, this brought me to tears as I continued on my run, the tears of gratitude felt good to unload.
On Wednesday, Darryl and Travis Hauk (thank you so much) took Chase on a special trip to Catalina on their state of the art tiara boat. Chase had a blast even though they didn't land any tuna, he was quite impressed. Thank goodness bec
October 7, 2003
I only cried once today. We checked into the hospital this morning. I walked into the parent room at night and found a mother, legs entwined to her four year old (or so) bald boy. He slept while she sang a healing lullaby. I sat a bit and reflected on this mother and our love during these trying times and as I left, I smiled at her as if to say-"I know you as you know me. Hold on as long as you can-trie love we have will get us through this." The admit went peacefully and Chase slept during chemotherapy. Prior to chemo, Chase asked for a steak. I couldn't deny his special request so I took off to find a rib eye (his personal favorite). After 3 restaurants, each one was met without attaining the beef. Finally, I went to the Olive Garden in Orange and the manager agreed to make Chase a plain 18-ounce T-bone with fries. When I returned, I proudly delivered tiramisu for the staff and steak for my Chase. These days, any requests are met with consideration; well, within reason!
As
October 7 (continued)
Chase is very ill today. His nausea has been debilitating. I stopped en route to home after inpatient to buy him a fishing video (his newest diversion when he can't fish) and he asked to wait in the car. When I returned, the bile he had vomited sat in the bowl in his lap. I said to myself, "tomorrow will be better." God willing, he will wake up without the nausea.
Tonight I am drawn to the quote by Aesop; "No act of kindness, no matter how small is ever wasted." I hope you all know how appreciative we are for every single solitaire gesture of love and support.
With love, Kim
PS. Jim Beam-The angel from Wisconsin-We haven't met but your weekly cheerful cards and notes are awesome. We pray for your full recovery from surgery!
Follow-up October 10, 2003
Our doctor called and Chase's labs are great. It lifted his spirits as he begged to go on another charter today (6:00 am to 3:00 PM). Call us crazy but we sent him off. Fishing report for th
October 16, 2003
Mary Kathryn, my great 2nd Aunt, died last week. She was 83 and had been married 63 years. I attended her funeral at a beautiful church in San Clemente. By the church attendance, she was greatly loved by many. She was both a saint on earth and now in heaven.
On my way to her service, I did my ran with Hershey, discovered 2 dead rats in the garage traps we set, made Chase his favorite extra large pancake and returned messages.
When I arrived at the funeral, I was pained to see the loss in so many friends and family members. As we rose to sing "Amazing Grace", I knew instantly that I'm not prepared for funerals. I had a flash of Chase's and immediately felt chilled. I came to my senses and quickly practiced cognitive restracturing adding in my mind, "Chase is not going to die, we will beat Rhabdo and any long term effects from this difficult treatment". Some have asked how we appear to get
10/23/03 - 10/26/03
Dan and Chase took off for Catalina and Chase caught 5 Bonita while trolling! They had a fabulous time and returned on 10-26. As you have come to know, Chase begged to go on a Dana Point charter on Monday 10-27. Chase was fishing for 11 hours and caught 2 yellowtail.
November 2, 2003
On Thursday 10-23, Chase again, for the 3rd time this week, found himself back at CHOC for blood. Afterward, Dan and Chase took off for Catarina and Chase caught 5 Bonita while trolluig! They had a fabulous time and returned on 10-26. As you have come to know. Chase begged to go on a Dana Point charter on Monday 10-27. I agreed because Chase reminded me that since Tuesday 10-28 was his inpatient hard chemo, fishing would not be an option for a few days minimum. Chase was fishing for 11 hours and caught 2 yellowtail. As I put him to be early, I reminded myself that my 13-year-old fisherman had a day from heaven but that tomorrow will be far from that Chemo is getting real tough as expected. The atmosphere on the oncology floor sends a non-verbal, ominous feeling and Chase starts vomiting when we get to our room. Our nurse compassionately delivers our "barf bowl." After Chase "lost his breakfast" he takes his meds, which immediately come back up. The nurse quickly states she will retriev
November 2 (continued)
P.S.I found this on Chase's computer screensaver:
"It's hard to explain- It's like when you were 9 years old and it's the day before your birthday. You can't sleep, can't focus, all you can think about is what kind of surprise you're in store for. It's total excitement, anxiety and curiosity all in one. It's the same way I feel the day before I go fishing! By Ben Secrest Shimano
Tonight I say a Prayer of gratitude. Thank you God for fishing. It has saved my boy and ultimately me. You have given us a most precious gift, and in your name God, I thank you and I love you.
November 21, 2003 a.m
2 weeks at a glance - November 21, 2003 10:00 am
I'm sitting in the Oncologist's office stunned at our recent report. Chase has been diagnosed with shingles, which is extremely dangerous for cancer patients because of their immunity deficiencies. Rather than being admitted to the oncology floor, we will be admitted to isolation on the fourth floor. Chase asks me to stop crying so Tarn writingto all of you to help distract my sadness. Chemo will not be able to be administered for several days/weeks. After learning on Tuesday Chase's counts were so law and we couldn't be transfused because his bone marrow isn't responding well after so many months of treatment, I felt low. I anticipated the blood drawn on Thursday and we were told it was good enough to give chemo but then found out, there weren't any hospital beds available. Today not only scares me but also forces us to face entering the New Year still with chemo. My body aches for an end and I can only imagine how C
November 21, 2003
It's Thanksgiving night around 9:00 p.m. I woke up this morning, chatted with Dan, and we went on our jog. I told Dan this is my favorite weather and I couldn't wait for the day - friends, family, good food and no work. We planned on taking our Christmas photo on the boat without a photographer in mind. We figured we'd ask someone at Dana Point Harbor to do us a photo "favor." The day's plans changed quickly as Cody, age 10, came down with the chicken pox. He must have got them from Chase' s shingles even though Cody was vaccinated against Chicken pox. Barb Palermo wanted her boys to be exposed so we went to the Duesler's reunion at Dad and Skip's after leaving Cody with Mikey Palermo. Dan came down with the flu and we never did get to our Christmas photos. Call us bad luck losers but I'll stay tonight thankful.
I am thankful for so much, but most of all- the goodness in people. If you don't believe hi it, I hope you won't wait for something horrid to happen. Most people are
December 8, 2003
Chemo resumes tomorrow-Chase also needs platelets and will meet with his dental oncologist. Last week was tough at the hospital. Chase really wants to stop treatment. The schedule is as follows: chemo 12/9, 12/16, 12/30 (inpatient) and 1/20/04 (inpatient). Due to Chase's lessened physical capacity, we will reschedule his 6-day celebration to PaoU's Italian Restaurant 40821 Village Drive (909) 866-2020 (Corner of Village and Pine Knot) Dec. 20, at 4:30 p.m. Big Bear. Rather than bowl, the kids will play video games after dinner.
Mike Gardner and his lovely wife visited Chase for his chemo last week. Mike and his wife have been acutely ill and he gave us such an uplifting visit at the hospital. As the fisherman guru, he mesmerized us with his fish tales, shared his fishing video and book. We began treatment in fishing bliss. Thank you, Gardners!
Since then, Chase got MD approval to go to Catalina with Dan. I was mortified but relented when Dan advised we let the M
December 12, 2003
You may recall a few months ago, the news that my Uncle Bob was diagnosed with inoperable throat cancer. In respect for his confidentiality, I have not shared anything about his difficult treatment with chemo and radiation. Miracles happen! Yesterday, his doctors discovered the tumor is G-O-N-E. Thank you God and thank you Uncle Bob for fighting the fight! I love you dearly-
Chase had platelet transfusions twice this week. I got home at 12:30 a.m. and Chase quickly slipped into bed. He's already planning a skiff trip when treatment is done. He accepted an invitation to go to a party tonight. I'm nervous with all the flu going around but I'm elated he accepted. (Never mind, after showering and changing he decided he couldn't go-he's not ready to have people see him. DARN...
Chasin Dreams-Livin' Life-our 26' Wellcraft goes on sale today for $26,500. It has a trailer, GPS, live bait tank, fuel flow meter, rod holders, new canvas cover and much more. Call Dan ASAP at
December 19, 2003
Holiday Update - Happy Holidays
Holiday Update Happy Holidays
Monday AM, I woke up with my sense of humor. Whatever will be, will be. Kyle started day one at work at Costco photo lab and came down with that horrible flu. Cody fell and got a minor concussion and fat lip. Dan and Chase left for the hospital with a bed available only at 9:00 PM. They got home at 4:20 AM to leave again at 8:00 AM for chemo. I smiled and renamed our family, "Calamity Quickels". Cheryl Moore delivered dinner and being that there were absentee family members, Corey and I ate double. Thanks Cheryl!
Tuesday, ban and Chase took possession of our 32' Sportsf isher Luhrs boat. They are so excited to be able to travel longer distances (i.e., Mexico) and thank goodness Quickel Paving is doing well. Reminder, our 26' Wellcraft is for sale.
Ron Jacobsen delivered the "Race for Chase" monies. All money will be in a trust for Chase's future and a portion donated to the rhabdomosarcoma cure. On a fina
January 4, 2004
Happy New Year!
The day is almost over and I sit to reflect on the events past and the ones yet to come.
As a quick re-cap: we went to Big Bear on 12/19. Chase and Blake caught trout and afterward, Chase told me he needed to come home. We celebrated at paoli's with a party of 20 for Chase's 14th birthday. Several people drove up just for Chase: Thank you to the Al-Ayoubi family for their gifts, ride home for Chase, and friendship, Sharon and Gary- thank you, you lovebirds! Lori Midsatre-Thank you: the digital under H20 camera, your presence, your volunteerism to CHOC and Chase (32 degree weather) and being bodyguard at the "love shack", my cousin Drake and stepsister Sheelah- for your continual support, and to Kathryn Holden - you are a Godsend! Chase left after 2 days in Big Bear. He felt sick. We stayed to allow the other boys a time to enjoy the snow. On December 23, Mamma Bear got sick for the first time in 10 years. Thank God for tamiflu and Z PAC. We came down the
January 6, 2004
I am excited today to be at CHOC to know by tomorrow we will have one more chemo and be done. The anticipation of 1/27/04 with the extended tests beginning on 1/29 are at best, overwhelming. Today at the hospital for chemo we shared a room with a hemophiliac who slept most of the day away. He had no family or visitors whatsoever. When he awoke, the curtain between our beds was drawn, and I was taken by his laughter at the TV show we shared. Chase slept through his chemo and I was grateful. For the first time ever, I was happy to have conversation with our ''roommate''. He had decided to move rooms to our next door neighbor who also had no visitors. The flu is at an epidemic level so no visitors (other than family) are allowed. Chase went downstairs earlier to visit with Captain Mike Gardner to discuss "fish" and then got chemo. Our "roommate" refused visitors - the nurses say he won't even let his mother visit. He deals with his blood disorder solo.
Tonight Chase is in a rar
January 27, 2004
Thank you God for this day! I said it out loud as I jogged up my big hill this morning. When the tears came, I let it out and felt myself out of control. It was like a crashing wave-the emotions so strong and unrelenting. A groan escaped my lips and I looked around for fear a passerby might notice me. It was still dark outside when I put on my jogging shoes and Dan mumbled in his sleep that I must be crazy. Today I do feel out of my mind. I'm nervous, scared and hyper and excited all at the same time. Thank you God for this day - the end is 24 hours away. I've asked Chase if I can scream in the halls when this is over. He pleads to me to contain myself. I agree and privately promise myself there will be a time to let loose.
My sleep was restless. I had a repetitive dream the Chase and I arrived at the hospital for our last chemo and the beds were full. We were sent to a floor that was packed with sick people. Chase was on a gurney, which I kept moving only to find us face to
January 28, 2004
Lori Midtsatre had this delivered to Chase at CHOC yesterday. I think it says it all. Again I thank God for yesterday and Lori, I thank God for you.
February 7, 2004
CHASE CRAWFORD-QUICKEL is cancer free!
Hallelujah!! Thanks be to God!
Your prayers, love and support have gotten us through one heck of a year.
I can’t stop crying and finally they are tears of joy. Thank you, thank you, thank you…
Do a little dance
Make a little love
Get down tonight!
Let the celebration begin.
Signing off for now. I’ll write again when I’m more grounded. People say that things will now be able to get back to “normal”.
Our lives will never be “normal” again and you know what, I think that’s a good thing. The goodness of people has changed all of us forever.
With all my love and gratitude,
Kim
February 17, 2004
To all of you:
We’re still in celebration mode…Chase is coming around with more enthusiasm and spirits for the future. We will do weekly blood tests as well as MRI and Catscans every three months for two years. Nothing is worth complaining about these days-we are cancer free and done with chemo, life is good and you are all WONDERFUL!
Love,
Kim
May 19, 2004
It’s a new year for us! Halleluiah! We are in remission and I feel like I walk lighter, I laugh more ferociously, I dare more, I expect less, I take more time to be at a kid's baseball game rather than work, I have less tolerance for people who whine, and I cry more often-especially for those who have gone through a recent traumatic life event. Suicide, cancer, loss of life through other means, mean people who hurt the ones they love; I tell you, after being through the year we've had, I have become a
different person.
Let's update all of you on Chase. He has completed recent MRI and cat scans, as well as M.D. evaluations and abdominal ultrasound. His grades are suffering, his ear canal has collapsed which will require surgery this summer( I am contemplating sending him back to the Mayo Clinic), and he has suffered eye deterioration in the right eye(due to the radiation) and has developed near sightedness. He will require glasses which we will prolong due to hi
July 28, 2004
To Our Loved Ones,
Long time no talk! Happy summer 2004! What a better year…We kicked it off with our Make A Wish vacation to Kona. Fishing was great, our spirits renewed, and we all caught fish! Chase’s prize catches included two marlin and a huge Dorado. Our family took this much-needed vacation to recoup from this last year of treatment. We found the beauty of Hawaii very calming and therapeutic.
Recently, Chase and I flew to the Mayo Clinic to have his collapsed ear corrected and to have plastic surgery. The team of doctors took thigh skin grafts to build the ear canal and implanted collagen pads to pack the side of the face indented. In addition, Chase’s ear was reattached. Surgeries appear to be successful! Chase was admitted to the pediatric floor and vomited for six hours. When he finally slept, we all said a prayer.
Chase will enter his freshman year at Aliso Niguel High School; thanks to you and your prayers we are moving forward canc
September 10, 2004
Most Recent News:
Chase entered the summer with grandiose fishing plans and a head of hair. Mayo Clinic provided the thigh skin grafts to build a new ear canal and with plastic surgery reconnect Chase's ear. I cried his first day of school (8-25-04) like so many other moms (especially kindergarten), wishing him well and praying kids would be good to him. So far, so good.
On 9-4-04 Chase had a bad relapse of shingles. Thus, he has missed one week of school and time and God willing, we'll see when he returns. The worse is seeing him in pain and you all know he's had his share. Shingles is brutal.
Today Chase went for his belated MRI/CAT Scan. We both hate the hospital.. He vomited after one fourth teaspoon of the barium he had to take. He still had 16 more ounces to go. We cheated a bit and I let him intermittently drink juice to throw it back. We got out of there in less than five hours and proceeded to Dr. McGavero's office for spacers. Chase's right side of
